Helios
by TheDrunkenWerewolf
Summary: Aizen makes Gin the sun in Huecco Mundo just because Gin says he misses it. Fluff with very mild angst. Rating may change. Standalone self contained story set in Herverse phase 3
1. Too Dark, Too Quiet

Business: don't own bleach. I only own Cherry, Tsuku, The Heirverse, hellish voice and flower dictionary.

a/n: Fuck yeah I get to write these idiots today! :) and bond with my sea monster of a series. Because I need it.

Notes: Canon as viewed through Wolfy's Shipping Goggles ™ (aka Heirverse ™ at this point because i've got no other headcanons and should really give up trying for them). concepts and themes borrowed from (rest of) heirverse. Set after the idiots have been in HM for a while.

Notes: Heirverse phase 3 story but by design a self contained story, and meant to be enjoyed as such.

Domestic-ish. An story I've been wanting to write since 2009 ever since the moment little me found out he made a sun. It is also the "Lover's whim" Catsafari references in her piece Nine Tenths (go read it, its amazing). Somewhat AU because of the series this is/was set in. standalone story. Shameless fluffy waffle from start to end. References to Helios, god of the sun. Flower language. Aizen&Gin using the _sappiest_ _endearments known to mankind. _NSFW in later parts but that will be in the ch notes when it crops up. Somewhat dark undertones. Story cross references but only if you look really closely.

Alright that's me. Storytime. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think.

* * *

"_Yours is the light by which my spirit's born. You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars."  
― E.E. Cummings _

**Helios**

**Part 1: Too Dark, Too Quiet **

"_Did I ever tell you the story of Helios?" Sousuke asked him once. They were in bed, naked and laying together after a round of rather vigorous lovemaking, just enjoying each other's closeness. _

"_No," he said. "Is it a book?"_

_Sousuke chuckled. "No, it's a legend."_

"_Tell me?" Gin asked, smiling, and so Sousuke began the story..._

. . .

Gin frowned at the dark sky, gently brushing away the memory. "Helios," he muttered. Where the heck was the Sun God in this place? _Slacking_, Gin thought, with no small amount of bitterness.

Dark, dark, dark. It was always dark here. Always night. Not only did that make it hard to see, but it made the scenery unchanging. It made it boring. And Gin hated boring. Just something else to look at through the window would be nice. But no, instead he just got a moon, and not nearly enough stars for his liking. He couldn't even find his constellations in their usual places. The map of the sky was all wrong – not at all what he was used to – and it left him more than a little frustrated. He sighed. He knew he'd agreed to come here, but...

He hadn't known what he'd been expecting. Sousuke had said, often and loudly, that this was a wasteland. A place of dead things. A place of nightmares. A place where it made sense to have no sun.

He knew he should think himself lucky he was allowed to come here at all. If Sousuke had his way, he'd be back in the Soul Society, out of the war. Out of all this. Safe. Whole. Not so at-risk. Not so much of an endangered species. But Gin refused to take 'no' for an answer, so here he was. Here _they _were. _Together. _Even after everything. All they'd been through, they were still together. That in itself should speak for itself. And Gin was happy, truly, but...

He sighed again. It was the little things he missed. He knew he was probably just a little homesick – this was a big adjustment to have to make, after all, living in a place of death as opposed to a place of life – but still. It was hard. Of course, he bore it quietly for Sousuke's sake, the man had enough to worry about, wrangling his new arrancar soldiers into line, but still... it was difficult. Maybe he _was_ a bit homesick. Just a little. He did miss Ran...

He huffed again, glancing at the clock from his chair by the window. Already sick of the unchanging scenery. It was about time for Sousuke's meeting to be finishing up, and Gin had been dying for some alone time with him. The older man had been kept very busy of late, organising the restructuring of Las Noches, creating more arrancar... _disciplining_ the arrancar...

He smirked. That was fun to watch, sometimes. Aizen-sama in his element, flaunting his power, his prowess at the game of mental chess. Decimating the pawns on the mental chessboard and eliminating potential enemies before they became threats. It was a huge turn on. And Gin had a front row seat, standing at Aizen-sama's right hand. He knew they hated him for it, the arrancar. Loathed him for his position, his power, his closeness to their lord and saviour. Like ninety-nine percent of the Seireitei, they whispered and gossiped behind his back, calling him a dirty whore and agree among themselves in whispered outrage that _'how dare Lord Aizen lower himself in such a way',_ but Gin didn't care. Only one man's opinion really mattered to him. And it wasn't the opinion of any of those pathetic small fries with equally small minds.

Gin smiled at the thought of his lover and stood. He called to his pet fox, happily dozing on his bed. "Cherry, c'mon," and she yawned and stretched. Gin watched as she stood and shook out her white fur and trotted to his side. "Good girl," he smiled. "Come along, let's go see yer best friend."

Her violet eyes lit up and her ears perked in alertness at the mention of Sousuke, and in a white flash she was waiting for him at the door, expectantly. Looking at him like _he_ was the slow one who had to hurry up. Gin laughed.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming. Keep yer tail on," he said, opening the door. "Sou aint goin' anywhere."

But she was already running out the door and down the hallway, and Gin just sighed, shook his head and followed her.

. . .

Sousuke was already in his quarters, laying on his stomach, reading a book he'd read before. Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita, Gin knew it well – when Gin walked in. He could tell what he'd been reading just looking at the man's expression, which of course morphed quickly into the brightest smile when he walked in. And Aizen Sousuke's brown eyes, abandoning their dreamlike quality, filled with warmth and light and softness when they looked at him.

Wholly different eyes from the ones the arrancar saw. Those eyes were hard, unyielding, bored if you were lucky and malevolent if you weren't. But it was an entirely different story when those eyes looked at him. Very different.

"Gin," Sousuke greeted him, and the moths that had taken up permanent residence inside his stomach took flight again at the sound of that voice. He didn't even fight the resulting smile that came from the sensation. Sousuke had made a point of not being too candid about their relationship when they were around their subordinates, but they were alone now, so there was nobody here to pretend for. And Gin had to admit, it was good to stop pretending for a while.

"Yeah, it's me," he shrugged. He knew he was grinning ear to ear and probably looked like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland right now, but... again, he didn't care. He was with his Sousuke and that was all that mattered. "Whatcha up to?"

Sousuke smirked. "Well I was reading," he said, a playful gleam in his eye. Gin knew that look all too well. He'd seen it enough times over the decades. "But since you're here I thought I might play with you for a bit."

Gin couldn't help it. Heat flooded into his face and his cheeks were pink, and Sousuke was chuckling at him. Again. Gods Gin _hated_ when he did this. But that smile and those bedroom eyes and the way the older man had said _'play' _that _suggested things_ all conspired against him to reduce him to a blushing maid. Again.

Sousuke chuckled at him. "Sorry." he smiled, only somewhat sheepishly. "I couldn't resist. For reasons."

Gin cleared his throat and tried to recover. "Yeh. _'Reasons'_."

"Well you do look cute when you blush." Sousuke smiled.

Gin crossed his arms and frowned. "Yeh, yeh." he said. "Says you."

"Says me," Sousuke agreed. "Who is technically in charge of you."

Gin raised his eyebrows and opened his eyes a fraction. "Since when are you in charge a me?" he asked. His gaze issuing a challenge.

Sousuke's eyebrow raising was the only answer to that. "Care to join me on the bed and find out?"

Gin smiled. Still trying to shake off some of his darker thoughts and went and lay down beside his lover. He was half expected to be pounced on with no warning – Sousuke liked to do that – but instead his lover only moved closer and slung an arm around him. Sighing heavily.

"Thought you were gonna jump on me?" Gin asked.

"Later," Sousuke mumbled, face already in Gin's neck. Gin's hand moved to his thick brown hair, playing with the strands in a comforting fashion.

"Long day?"

"The longest. I miss it when life was easier sometimes."

Gin nodded, and let the statement pass. He knew Sousuke didn't want to talk about it.

"Ya know what I miss?" he asked. Though he didn't wait for an answer. "The sun."

Sousuke looked at him, somewhat curious and amused. _"The sun?"_

"The sun." Gin confirmed. "Y'know, actual **daytime**. I didn' think I'd miss it, bu' it's kinda weird to wake up and it be dark, to ta bed an' it be dark..."

Sousuke smiled, somewhat bemused. "It sounds like you're describing wintertime in the Sou-... back home." he said. Catching himself. "You're having trouble adjusting?"

"Mm." Gin wanted to nod. Wanted to ask if Sousuke missed home too, even though it as obvious he did. Wanted to do a lot of things.

"I dunno, I just..." Gin sighed, "s'not that. Well, maybe it is..." he sighed again and looked at his partner. Tried to smile. "Sorry, I'm complaining, aren't I?"

Sousuke lay gazing at Gin softly. Reaching a hand out to beckon Gin closer. Gin obeyed the silent command and edged closer,

"I suppose a land of eternal night will take a bit of adjusting to," Sousuke said gently. "I know you've been having trouble sleeping since we moved."

Gin frowned. _You make it sound like we just moved houses, not a whole world away, _he thought. But it was true, he hadn't really slept through the night since they'd arrived here. His circadian rhythm was all messed up because his body was just too used to daylight and the sun. Gin swore if he ever saw natural sunlight again he'd never take it for granted.

"Yer tellin' _me_." Gin agreed. "Didn' think I'd miss somethin' so trivial as the **sun.**"

. . .

Sousuke smiled then, wanting to laugh, though he knew better than to do so. Because how could the sun possibly be trivial? But he bit back the question, squashed the laugh, and just began absent-mindedly stroking Gin's silver hair. "I know," he said gently. "What can I do to make it better?" he asked. Because if there was anything at all he could do, no matter how small, how 'trivial', if it made his Gin's life here just a little bit easier, then he'd do it. Without question. He really owed Gin a lot for just coming here. For staying by his side when so many other people – so many other _sane_ people – would have walked away. Or run away.

But most of all he wanted to pay Gin back, somehow, for putting up with all of his bullshit.

Even if it was a debt he'd never even be able to repay. It just felt right to try.

But Gin only sighed softly, content at the soothing strokes of his head. "I dunno. 'Less ya can make a damn sun, I don' think ya can do much." Gin answered, smiling lazily, "I 'preciate the offer, though."

Sousuke sighed. So much for any helpful debt advice.

"An' thanks fer listenin' to me complain," Gin added after a moment. "Even if ya can't do anythin' about it, it's just nice to have ya listen."

Sousuke shook his head slightly. "You're welcome," he said softly. "But you're allowed to complain, you know. I'm always here if you want to complain. Hell, I'd prefer your grouching to the silence sometimes..." he laughed a little. It was meant to be a joke but, there was a modicum of truth in it, too. "This place gets too quiet."

Gin smiled lazily back at him. "Oh. Then maybe I can liven things up for ya?"

Sousuke smiled. "That'd be nice. I really can't stand the silence."

"Well, I can certainly provide the background chatter." Gin answered. "Are ya sure ya won't get bored a hearin' me talk though?"

Sousuke's smile morphed into an even softer one as he answered that. "I could never get bored of you."

Gin's smile at that answer sent warmth coursing through him, filling his chest cavity and heart space, and he remembered why he loved Gin then.

"I can start now, if ya want then," Gin said, still smiling across at him. And Sousuke saw his opportunity.

"Yes, yes you can," he said, and gently captured Gin's lips with his own.


	2. Squaring an Unsquarable Debt

**Part 2: Squaring an Unsquarable Debt **

"_Well," Sousuke began, with Gin snuggling close so he could both listen to the story and enjoy his lover's closeness. "It begins with the Greeks not knowing the Earth was, in fact, round. They believed it was flat and the Sun moved over it going from East__ to West."_

_Gin snorted. "Sounds real primitive,"_

"_Yes," Sousuke agreed, stroking Gin's silver hair gently. "They have advanced since then. Now, the rest of the story..."_

"_'kay. 'm listenin'."_

. . .

Later that night, Aizen stood on the balcony, leaning on the white railing, looking out over the Huecco Mundo wastelands, cigarette in hand. Blowing the smoke out into tat 2 AM fresh air. Feeling the gentle breeze on his skin. He always liked to smoke after his more physically intimate encounters with Gin, although Gin hated it when he smoked inside. It made everything smell. So he always lit up outside. Even back in the Soul Society... even in the pouring rain, and the gales and snow... he always smoked outside. He'd almost forgotten smoking made everything stink of cigarettes. Before Gin, he'd been living alone for so long, he'd grown accustomed to the smell. Gone 'nose blind', as the expression went. He smiled at the thought. Even in the smallest of ways, Gin had left his mark. Changed him.

For the better.

Well... Mostly. Some things never would change. His idiocy, for one. That seemed far too ingrained to ever be scrubbed clean. But then, they did say the clever ones had no common sense. At least that's what he told himself, anyway.

He took another long, deep drag of his cigarette, and blew out the smoke, enjoying that sweet hit of nicotine. Of course, it had nothing on the addictiveness of his lovely Gin, but then nothing did. He turned and looked back into the bedroom, where Gin was still sleeping like the dead. A small part of him envied Gin's ability to sleep so heavily. His own sleep always seemed to be troubled and fitful. He could count on his fingers the nights he'd slept the whole way through without nightmares plaguing him, or insomnia. Aizen couldn't decide which was worse. Sleeping fitfully, or not sleeping at all.

_But every night you slept through, Gin was there, _Kyouka told him gently. He nodded. She was right.

_Of course I am, I'm always right. _

He smiled at that. _Yes. It's never annoying at **all.**_

He felt her smugness at the begrudging admission, and her smirk at the sarcasm, and returned his attention to the desert stretched out before him. On and on it seemed to span. Endless. He wondered if he set out and kept going in one direction, if he'd ever find the end of it, or would he just go around the whole world, traipsing through the sand dunes made of bones, and just end up back where he started in this godforsaken white palace. He wanted the former, but some part of him knew he'd get the latter. Because the world, this one in particular, was cruel like that. The Voice was cruel like that.

He sighed and took another drag of his cigarette again. He wasn't lying when he said it'd been a long day. He'd slept badly again last night, plagued by nightmares – which seemed to be a common occurrence, more so now they'd come here – and then there were so many fuckups he had to deal with. And then when he finally got a few moments to himself, to enjoy some peace, to enjoy some quiet, the voice chimed in, and made what few moments of peace he could find completely miserable.

It chose its moments carefully, alright.

He lit up another cigarette. Shielding his lighter from the desert breeze. He hated that voice. So goddamn much. It always waited, waited patiently for the quiet moments to come. For the moments where he thought he was alone with his own thoughts, and then strike. Using his own insecurity, his own fears against him. Crushing him with doubt and misery and guilt and shame and horror and-

He blew out the smoke from his lungs shakily. It was days – or nights, rather, given the lack of actual daytime – like this that made him want to just go out and actually see if there was an end to this goddamn desert. He tried, once. Set out into the night, masked his spiritual energy and just kept walking. He didn't find the edge of the world, but he did find a cluster of pretty quartz trees. He sat by them a while, marvelling at their beauty. The trees made him think of Gin. And that's what drove him back to the white palace. What made him realise he couldn't try to find the edge of this world even if he wanted to. Or if he did, Gin would have to come with him, because gods only knew how he'd cope on his own. He'd probably just get very lost. In more ways than one. So he set off back. Wondering how in the three worlds there's come to be such a beautiful thing in a place of grimness and death and decay. He couldn't come up with a reason why, but then again, it was probably better not to question it.

Something he'd learned the hard way. From his experiences of questioning the how's and why's of Ichimaru Gin being in his life. Even now. Even after everything. Even after all of the bullshit he'd put the other man through.

He smiled at the thought, though it was a bitter one. Now there was a debt he'd never, _ever_ be able to repay. As the voice in his head constantly liked to remind him.

Thankfully, Gin was still around to drown it out. Even when it seemed to gnash and growl it's loudest. And it had certainly gnashed and growled loudly at him earlier. Gin was always there, and he was slowly starting to learn that was something he could count on.

Even tonight, when he'd sought Gin out after the chattering and gnashing of the voice got too much. When he needed Gin to fill up the silence around him and make the voice retreat into the dark, quiet corner of his mind again and hide. Okay, he hadn't actually said anything outright about it, but Gin could probably tell. The younger man had known him far too long and knew him far too well to believe any bullshit excuse he used to hide it. Not that he really needed to come up with some bullshit excuse anymore. But still. Old habits. They died slowly. They died painfully. But they did die.

He lit up another cigarette and stood smoking it quietly. Probably thinking too much than should ever be allowed, and stared off at the horizon. Oddly enough he found himself waiting for a sunrise that would never come. It seemed there was a dearth of a few things here. Sunlight. Life.

_At least there isn't any rain here,_ he consoled himself. Just before thunder pealed in the distance. Signalling the coming of a storm. And in a few seconds, the first few drops of light rain his his head.

_Of course, it'd rain now,_ he thought. Bitterly. _Can't have me being too optimistic now can we?_

He sighed. Watching thunder flash across the desert sky, illuminating the heavy, dark storm clouds. The moon high above him in the blackness. This would be the time when the sun would be rising, if there were a sun. Gin had told him, often _– before _\- that he wished they could have just one more sunset, watch one more sunrise together, because that was what he missed most since they'd arrived here, in Huecco Mundo. With no light, and only the way to tell the time being the position and fullness of the moon. Or the various timepieces they brought with them. One in each room, as Gin had promised him. Powered by a kidou spell of his own invention, so they would never run out of power. And reinforced with anti-tampering kidou, just in case anyone decided to try anything stupid.

He watched the storm gather up in the sky, and found himself wishing for the sun to rise too. Sunrises brought new days, new beginnings, fresh starts. Reset the circadian rhythms. If the sun would rise now, he could draw a line under the last twenty-four hours, and begin again. If the sun were to rise now, Gin would be happy.

And he would do anything to make Gin happy. Even make the sun rise.

_If only there was a way... _he thought. The gears in his mind already turning. His mind busily formulating plans. _Could there be a way? I suppose anything is possible..._

He thought on it. Already making some quick calculations. By design, this was supposed to be a land of eternal night. A place of darkness. But Sousuke was going to change that. He was going to change all of that. There was a space in that dark sky above him, and he was going to fill it with light. Fill it with light the way Gin had filled his life with light. Even when he didn't deserve it.

Craft a sun to put in the inky black sky above them.

A smile tugged the corners of his lips upwards, as his plan began to take shape. It wasn't a very detailed plan, or a very scientifically sound plan – at east not yet – but it was the beginnings of one. And every great idea and grand plan starts off small. All you need is one little idea, a lot of motivation, and time.

And he had all three of those things. Enough of them to possibly make it work.

Alright, it wouldn't be a real sun, but an artificial one, but still. It would be a sun. it would still give off light. It would still give out warmth. It would still be appreciated by the flowers and his fox in the garden. And it would still make Gin feel a little bit more at home here.

He stared up at the empty blackness of the sky, filled with a fresh determination. He would make a sun for Gin. He _would. _Whatever it took, he'd do it. Whatever he needed to do, he'd do it. He'd find a way, somehow, to begin squaring the unsquarable debt he owed to Gin. To repay him, in whatever small, trivial way he could, for the kindness, warmth and _love_ Gin had shown him.

But mostly, he just wanted to thank Gin for not running away when any other sane person would have. Because even in the dark, even in the darkest, most grim hours of his life, holed up with the decomposing bodies, Gin was there. He was there not judging, not condescending, not telling him to suck it up. And letting him know it was actually _okay_ to express himself freely with him.

_And cry, _Kyouka added to the list. _Because he let you do that too. _

His smile widened just a little. _That, _he said to her,_ never happened. _

Of course, she snorted and laughed, though not unkindly. _Yeah. Right. And the sky is green. _

He resisted the urge to laugh with her, not wishing to wake Gin up. Gin did sleep like a corpse, but he wasn't about to go testing that theory. Besides, his Gin was _grouchy_ if woken up prematurely. Another thing he'd learned the hard way.

He finished the last of his cigarette, his third tonight. He knew he probably shouldn't smoke so much, but it was just such a good stress reliever. Second only to being with Gin. Both of them together were the best though. He'd often shared cigarettes with Gin, once Gin had grown used to smoking properly and not inhaling the half the damn cigarette like the first time... and those were some of the best cigarettes on the best nights. Even on the rainy nights, sharing cigarettes outside on the porch shielded from the rain were nice.

He smiled at the memories and flicked his cigarette butt over the balcony and onto the sand. With any luck it'd burn a passing underling on its way down.

_Well, no time like the present, I suppose,_ he thought, turning to dress himself and leave. Making sure to leave traces of his reiatsu for Gin upon waking, so he knew he hadn't just up and vanished again. Along with a mug of hot tea in his favourite mug. Because old habits, after all, died slowly. Though this was one habit he could happily live the rest of his days with.

It was with that thought that he went back inside and climbed into bed.

. . .

A few hours later, the walk through the white palace brought him to the library. His other sanctuary. Nobody really came here, at least not that he knew of. So he knew he wouldn't be disturbed. Well, that and one glare sent any arrancar's way would send them scurrying. And the graveyard hour, as well. Nobody was ever awake at this time. Only he seemed to rise at 5 AM. Again, old habits.

The smell of books filled his nostrils. Old books, new books, books he'd brought from home. Of course, the important books – his flower dictionary, his copy of Lolita, all the ones with sentimental value - were kept locked in his bedroom. But the ones he didn't mind parting with, he stored here. He just needed to find the ones he was looking for.

He scoured the aisles, searching for what felt like an age. Feeling a lot like a new student at the Academy again just discovering the vast Seireitei library. But eventually, he found them. And began pulling books from shelves, searching, finding. Then, hidden away in a far corner, he pulled them out and carried them to a nearby table, spreading his finds out over the polished wood. Maps of the stars, tomes on physics and astronomy. His old kidou textbooks from his time at the academy, as both student and teacher. And a small blank notepad and pen.

He sat down, opened his notepad and one of the books, and began his research. His zanpaktou settling down by his feet in the guise of a big, brown wolf. Smiling to herself because at last, he was like his old self again.


End file.
